FELLOWSHIP, J. H. Oliphant Every true lover of Zion is anxious to have peace prevail among us. Each member should labor to maintain the fellowship of the church. Great patience is required to live a consistent Christian life. We are all more or less imperfect and prone to err. We have our tempers, often ungovernable; and our tongues are often improperly employed. Also, we have conflicting interests in worldly things; we must have dealings with each other, buying and selling, borrowing and lending. Our children, with their various follies and imperfections, mingle together in social life. There are a thousand sources for strife to come up among us as a church; besides, each of us is liable to entertain a spirit of jealousy under which we interpret many things our brethren say and do for evil, when no evil was intended. “With green spectacles on, everything looks green.”
While we have a spirit of jealousy, we can see no real marks of love in our brother. If he treats us well, we are apt to think “it is for a purpose.” If he visits us, we are apt to suspicion him; and if he does not, we do the same. We put a bad interpretation on all he says or does; and we are all liable at times to be under such a spirit. Envy, hateful as it is, has a place within us; covetousness, malice, strife, hate, all, and more, have their influence upon us; and when we are governed by these, we are plunged into trouble ourselves, and often bring a whole church into trouble.
Sometimes a brother or sister steps aside from the path of obedience, and soon imagines that the brethren are feeling unkind to them; interpret everything against themselves and become mild and shy; act and feel distant; vacate their seats in the church and bring on themselves, and the church, a vast amount of trouble unnecessarily. To guard against all these things is the true wisdom of a Christian.
From these and similar considerations, it is clear that the only ground upon which we can hope to maintain fellowship is that of forbearance. “Bear ye one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.” If we would maintain fellowship, the strong must bear the infirmities of the weak, and not please ourselves,” Rom. 15:1. We are to expect our brethren and sisters to err, and do things that are wrong, and should not feel disappointed, when we have some things to bear. “If a man be overtaken in a fault, ye which are spiritual restore such an one in the spirit of meekness, considering thyself, lest thou also be tempted,” Gal. 6:1.
If our brother errs, we are not to treat him cold and distant, but in a meek and quiet way seek to restore him to the path of duty and to the full fellowship of the church. If your brother does you a wrong, you should think how liable you are to do wrong, and remember that you may under temptation, do as wrong as he has. Think how tenderly you would be dealt with under such circumstances. Remember, too, that he is but a man in the flesh, with all the imper-fections of our present state. If he has done you a wrong, you should not, for that, disobey God, who has taught you to deal tenderly with your brother. By looking over your past life you will perhaps see many places in which you have done wrong, and you should be willing to have your life tried by the same rule you use on others, for “with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged, and with what measure ye mete it shall be measured to you again.” So that, in trying our brother’s case, we should ever remember that we may be tried. These considerations will make us moderate in our dealings with one another.
It is a maxim in law that “he that comes into court must have clean hands.” He that criticizes a brother himself must be above criticism. “Let him that is without sin cast the first stone.” “First cast the beam out of thine own eye, and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother’s eye.” If these considerations were always duly weighed, there would certainly be much less trouble in our churches.
If we consider the weakness of human nature, and the great power of the wicked one, we may thereby be led to apologize for the sins of our brethren. Our Savior said, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.” A temper like this is the richest ornament of a Christian. We greatly desire that God should thus kindly and tenderly deal with us, and how reasonable, then, that we should exercise the greatest patience with one another. We are taught to pray “forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors,”
Matt. 6:12. How many of us can say that “we have manifested the same patient, forgiving temper towards others that we would have the Lord manifest toward us.”
We cannot go before God in prayer consistently while we entertain an unforgiving temper towards others. I have heard brethren say that if the brethren and sisters can bear with them in their imperfect manners, that they felt sure that they could bear anything sooner than have trouble in the church. This is a good state of mind to be in, but when these same brethren were tried and had something to bear they soon showed what mettle they were of by refusing to bear anything; sometimes vacating their seats in the church and remaining away from their duty until the patience of the church was exhausted. Because some brother or brethren had treated them wrong they would venture to sin against the whole church, and violate the plain word of God, which directs an entirely different course to be pursued.
If your brother has injured you, are you, therefore, authorized to disobey God? Certainly not. The wrong of others should prompt us to live nearer and nearer to our duty. The 18th chapter of Matthew is regarded as being a full directory respecting our duty in matters of difficulty. In verse 15 we read, “Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between him and thee alone.”
1st. This seems to have reference to matters of private trespass, or individual difficulty. The pronouns thy and thee seem to indicate that this instruction is intended to apply in cases where one member has been offended at another.
2nd. It is natural for one to say, “Well, he has done me a wrong and he knows it, and I will wait for him to come to me.” But this instructs you to go to the offender and tell him your complaint; don’t wait for him to come to you, nor tell your grievance to others; keep it in your own breast until you see him.
Sometimes a brother becomes stubborn, when he imagines he has been offended, and quits the church. This is rebellion, and a worse sin against God than others have committed against him. The law directs him to go to the party and tell him privately about it. “Let nothing be done through strife,” etc., but “in the spirit of meekness,” “considering thyself lest thou also be tempted.”
It would be well to remember how our Lord dealt with us when he came to us. He told us all the things we had done. He displayed our sins before us, and that in such a sweet and affectionate manner that our hearts were won by him. We were led to repent of our sins and seek to do right. We were not made angry, although he opened the whole matter to us. Oh! what wisdom he displayed in approaching us, and how successful he was in gaining us!
We may sin in our manner of going, or talking after we go. We must go “in the spirit of meekness,” not in a rash, overbearing temper. “Let nothing be done through strife.” We need both grace and wisdom to act prudently in a case of this kind, that our brother may feel that our object is good, and that we have not come simply to get ready for a church trial; show that you love him and want to gain him; that you want fellowship; lay all the matter open to him, and patiently hear his side, bearing in mind that you may have done wrong, and in some degree provoked him to do what he has done. Remember that you are fallible and liable to err, and if you gain the object sought, you have gained a great victory. The church need never know that there has been a difficulty.
3rd. If he fail to “hear thee, then take with thee one or two more” of the brethren or sisters “that in the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established.” This should all be done with the view of settling the matter. In selecting the “one or two” pains should be taken to get suitable persons, such as would be most likely to succeed, whose opinions would be heard with respect and without prejudice, and who would feel a great interest in getting a settlement.
If he repent, you are required to forgive him. “If he repent, forgive him,” Luke 17:3, and verse 4, “If he trespass against thee seven times in a day, and seven times in a day turn again unto thee, saying, I repent, thou shalt forgive him.” You should, in heart, forgive him and feel the same love to him that you would, had nothing ever occurred to disturb your fellowship; this you will do, and feel, if he turn and you see that there is real penitence of heart with him, and you will love him as well as ever, and perhaps better.
4th. If he neglect to hear thee, “tell it to the church.” Of course, this should be when the church is assembled for the transaction of business; and that same meek and tender temper should be manifested by the whole church. He should be kindly pointed to his error, and if he still persists in a stubborn, unyielding course, “let him be unto thee as an heathen man and a publican.” That is, let him be expelled. Great care should be taken by the whole church not to manifest a harsh spirit of strife. Do this “in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ,” and “by his Spirit,” 1 Cor. 5:4.
It is serious business to expel a member from the house of the Lord and its privileges. To do this in a vain, fleshly spirit of strife is a grievous sin. I have felt as serious when I have seen the church of God withdraw the hand of fellowship from a disobedient person as I ever did in my life. This should be a last resort with us. Amputation is deferred as long as it is safe to defer it, and it is at last performed with great pain to the body. And so we should feel pained to see one of our members severed from the body. I have known persons who wept over their amputated limbs, and so we may justly weep to see sin control the members of our body so that we have to cut them off.
5th. The great principle of forbearance is taught in Matt. 18:23 to last, by the parable of a certain king who took account of his servants. One of his servants owed him ten thousand talents, which was about ten million dollars, and he had nothing to pay, but this servant fell down and worshiped him, etc. And the Lord of that servant forgave him the debt.
This ten million dollars represents how great a sin our Savior has forgiven us, but this same man, to whom so great debt had been forgiven, went out and found one who owed him an hundred pence, which is less than one hundred dollars, and he laid hands on him and “took him by the throat” and demanded full payment. This shows, that though so much has been forgiven us, yet we are apt to entertain a harsh, unforgiving temper towards our brother. The last verse shows that our Heavenly Father will not forgive our sins, if we do not from our hearts forgive those who trespass against us.
Dear brother, how important that we should feel a tender spirit of forgiveness toward others. How it will embolden us to go to God for the pardon of our sins; to be able to say, “Lord, I freely, from my heart, forgive all that ever trespassed against me; I hold malice against none and pray a blessing upon my enemies, and now I come to thee for the pardon of my sins; my debt of sins to thee is immense, but I implore the pardon of all.” Can we thus approach the Lord? If so, he will hear and forgive us, and our faces will glow with love and cheerfulness; but, on the other hand, if we are carrying malice and long settled hate against others, we shall not be forgiven.
“Whoso stoppeth his ears at the cry of the poor, he also shall cry himself, but shall not be heard.” And if we are deaf to all the Bible on this subject; if we entertain a low, unforgiving temper, we shall not be heard when we go before God in prayer. Mark 11:26, “But if ye do not forgive, neither will your Heavenly Father forgive your trespasses.” Also Matt. 6:12, “Forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors.” We are not likely to feel in death that we have borne too much with our brethren. You have a right to bear anything that comes upon you, if it does not become an offense to the whole body; as long as it is a private, individual matter you have a right to bear it, and go along with it; fill your seat in worship, be kind, rendering “good for evil,” and “overcome evil with good,”
This is heavenly, and the brightest ornament you ever wore on earth; but if you become sour, sulky and cross, act stubborn, wear a jealous face and look, your sin is likely to be greater than his who has sinned against you.
If we will duly consider what poor creatures of a moment we are, how short a time we have to stay here, and how much sin and evil controls us, it will help us to “pass over offenses.”
Shall we worry each other by taking each other “by the throat” for every offense? Let each of us think how poor, vile and sinful we are; let us run over the books to see how much the Lord has forgiven us; compare our sins of ten millions against God with our brother’s sins of one hundred against us, and remember that all ours is forgiven; it will help us to forgive others.
Besides, this harsh temper brings trouble to the whole church; it manifests that we are not humble as we should be. A person easily offended is too proud. Humility leads us to bear with each other. Our Savior opened not his mouth, although he was led like a poor sheep to the slaughter; and shall we open our mouths in charges and complaints when we receive trifling offenses from our brethren? The honor of the church greatly depends upon the fellowship of the brethren. The world is glad when Zion is in confusion, and crowds to our meetings to see our shame and confusion. We never should bring a case up for the church to hear unless it is a very plain one; it is a burning shame to go before the church with a mere trifling case; all such you should bear and say nothing about it. This spirit of forbearance among brethren is the safeguard of the church, where “each can his brother’s failings hide and show a brother’s love.”
What I have said relates entirely to matters of private trespass. In all such cases the church should refuse to take notice of them until due efforts have made to procure a settlement.
6th. In this same 18th of Matthew, verses 8 and 9, we have another case of difficulties, “If thy hand or thy foot offend thee, cut them off,” etc. The church is compared to the human body. 1 Cor. 12. And so the church is addressed as a whole. “If thy hand,” that is, if one of thy members offend thee, “cut it off.” If you have a chronic sore on your hand, it may become dangerous to the whole body, and in such a case it would be better to cut it off.
And so the church may have a member who is so corrupt in his deportment as to be a disgrace to the whole church; his evil conduct is not against any one member individually, and therefore he need not be dealt with as above described, but should be cut off, and if his future life proves him worthy he may be restored. “A little leaven leaveneth the whole lump,” and so by the law of fellowship we may hold a corrupt man in our fellowship whose presence and association with us would be a disgrace to us as a church. A man guilty of theft or adultery, and whose character is generally known to be bad, would be a disgrace to the church and should be “cut off.”
In our rules of decorum this is mentioned as a public offense. No one individually is hurt, but the church as a body is offended, and as a body she should “cut him off.” When a man is guilty of theft, our practice has been to exclude him, although he confesses his guilt and promises to reform. Yet it is held to be prudent to exclude for such public offenses, and should his future life be prudent, he may, without injury to the church, be forgiven and restored.
In 1 Cor. 5, Paul directs that the man guilty of fornication be excluded; he does not seek to reclaim him, but instructs that he should be “delivered to Satan,” which is understood by writers generally to signify exclusion; his simple promise to reform is not to be taken; let him be expelled, and then in case he does reform and give evidence of true penitence, he may be restored without injury to the church.
By referring to 2 Cor. 2, you will see that this same man mentioned in the first letter, was to be forgiven by the church, and so our usage is that for public offenses of this nature, sins that disgrace the person committing them, we do not seek to retain him, but withdraw the hand of fellowship from him until, by a suitable life, he proves himself worthy of a place in our body.
Such cases are not infrequent. In cases of bastardy, the uniform rule, so far as I know, has been to exclude. So of theft, murder, etc. We think the honor of the church requires it, and that where she fails to rid herself of such a person she is a partaker of his sins and justly loses her influence on society.
7th. Also, where members indulge in neglect of duty, vacate their seats, rail against the church or live lives that are injurious to us as a body, indulge in profanity or excessive drinking, etc. In all this the sin is against the body as a whole, and should be dealt with by the church as a body.
Where the church can, with safety to her credit, bear with a member, she should do it, and should use all the means in her power to reclaim the disobedient. The parable of the one hundred sheep, Matt. 18:2, is intended to teach us that we should seek to reclaim the disobedient. Sometimes we see a brother or sister go astray, become cold and careless about their duty. We should use all the means in our power to reclaim them, remove their jealousy by convincing them we love them, and desire their happiness and peace. As a shepherd would pursue the straying sheep, so you should pursue the dear child of God and reclaim him from the ways of sin.
But there is a time when prudence says, “cut them off,” let the church maintain the true dignity in the end by plucking out right eyes or cutting off right hands that will not obey the laws of the Great King. On this subject Paul says,
1 Tim. 5:20,22, “Them that sin rebuke before all that others also may fear. I charge thee before God, that thou observe these things without preferring one above another, doing nothing by partiality.”
Churches are apt to show partiality to their rich or learned members in these things, which is a grievous sin and should be carefully avoided. “Lay hands suddenly on no man.” We should never in a rash and hasty manner exclude members; give them time to “bethink themselves,”use suitable means to reclaim them and save them. He then adds, “Neither be partakers of other men’s sins.”
While we should use care not to be too hasty and rash, we should not retain the offender to our own ruin. We may hold a member in our body until we “are partakers of other men’s sins;” against this we should guard. “Keep thyself pure.” Steer clear of rashness on the one side and undue indulgence on the other. I think it right for brethren to confer with each other about what is right in such cases. I have heard dear brethren ask with deep concern, “What ought the church to do?” “Are we doing wrong to let this or that one alone in their neglect?” These are often very serious matters to them that love the house of the Lord.
Oh, dear reader, let me exhort you, never while you live, to give the church and your brethren such trouble. If you have been neglecting duty, go to the next meeting and confess your error, and ask pardon of the church. Think how precious the cause, how deep the trouble your course is giving, and be persuaded to do right. God is to be feared, and your course is against him and his people, and in harmony with Satan. Be persuaded to obey the Lord in all things. If you have sinned, God will forgive you; your brethren will forgive you and receive you to their arms and hearts in fellowship again, and your own happiness will be promoted by it.
8th. The scriptures do not furnish us the manner of proceeding in public offenses as in private trespass. We are told to “cut them off” and “pluck them out,” and “deliver such an one to Satan,” etc., but we are not instructed just how this is to be done. In matters of private trespass we are instructed to “tell him his fault between him and thee alone,” etc.; but all this is understood to relate to one brother dealing with another.
As there is no particular method given, we are left to adopt such method as seems most appropriate. I think where one of our members is guilty of a grievous sin, demanding exclusion, that the matter should be first taken up and considered by the church, and a suitable committee appointed to visit the accused and give him or her notice of the complaint, and cite him to the next meeting of business. In case he or she fails to be present, the church may, with proper testimony exclude.
The greatest possible pains should be taken not to exclude in a rude, passionate manner. The judge who passes sentence against the criminal is not mad; he but discharges his duty in obedience to law; neither should you be mad, when you execute the law of the Lord. By manifesting rashness, you are likely to disturb particular friends of the excluded, and you may, while rooting up the tares, “root up the wheat also.”
The kind of evidence to be taken is a question of some interest; where church evidence can be had it is far better, and some good brethren have held that we should never exclude unless it be on the testimony of church members. It sometimes occurs that persons are esteemed by the whole community as guilty of gross sins, and yet no church member is able to state that he knows the party to be guilty. Persons have been tried for theft and sentenced to the state prison, and yet no brother in the church was able, from his own personal knowledge, to say the party was guilty.
In cases of this kind it is held by some good brethren that the most appropriate course would be for the church to select a committee of judicious brethren to investigate the facts and circumstances connected with the matter, getting all the evidence they can and report to the next meeting, and let the church act upon their report. I think this is a prudent course.
In such cases I am aware that we should exercise great care not to suffer our brethren to be imposed on by those that are without. But unless we do receive the testimony of those without, in some degree, we are liable to retain in our fellowship those who are guilty of grossest crime, and even tried and sentenced to the State prison for gross crime.
In cases where our brethren habitually neglect their meetings and indulge in railing against the church, etc., I think the church should appoint a committee of brethren or sisters, as prudence would dictate, to visit the party and learn the cause of such neglect, find out the nature of their complaint and seek to remove the difficulties, making every effort possible to induce them to resume their duties, and make a report to the church. They should be induced to continue in the church if it can be done honorably, but if not let them be excluded.
The church should seek to keep the house of the Lord in an orderly manner by looking after her members and their conduct, endeavoring to demonstrate that there is a power in religion to make men live upright lives. In this way she becomes the light of the world, and her presence and influence is felt for good in the community.
It is the duty of the church to see that the doctrine preached in her pulpit is sound, and in harmony with God’s word. “A man that is an heretic after the first and second admonition reject,” Tit. 3:10. A minister who preaches heresy should be discountenanced, and his authority called in. I hope that what I have written on this subject will lead to investigation, and in that way, if in no other, be a blessing.
Note—It is a rule in some churches, in settling matters of difficulty between brethren, to require all except the members to absent themselves from the house, so that the world may never know of there being a difficulty between the brethren. The instructions of the 18th of Matthew requires it to be kept between the interested parties, first and second; the one or two should keep it a secret, and these churches hold that it should likewise be a matter known only to the church. I know no reason why this is not a prudent course.